BDSM and Bondage – In the world of sex, it seems that nothing is impossible these days. A lot more people are getting interested in activities other than your typical vanilla. Even though there is still a pleasure to found in classic sex acts, some couples find it a bit too stale for their taste.
If you are one of these couples, you know how it feels when you don’t know what to do now. If vanilla or plain sex will not do it anymore, then what else is there?
You can change positions as this page shows, but it does not get too far from that. If you have ever watched, read or heard about Fifty Shades of Grey, then you might have heard of the term BDSM. To recap, the Fifty Shades trilogy is about a young woman who engaged in a sexual relationship with an older richer man. Throughout the series, they explored the wondrous world of BDSM while falling in love. Eventually, they start a family and toned down the elements of their lifestyle. Unfortunately, the portrayal of the said lifestyle is not wholly appropriate. There are many elements that even those who are in the scene have found problematic.
Exploring the Real Kinks
Due to the popularity of the lifestyle though, there have been many people who want to enter it. With this enthusiasm and curiosity, there are bound to be questions that need to be answered before doing anything. To start with, is bondage and BDSM the same thing? The answer to this is quite complicated. Let us discuss what BDSM is all about though before jumping into any kind of conclusion. Sites like Anastasia Sex Toys – BDSM Guide can help you navigate this world as a newcomer.
The term stands for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. Take note, bondage is a part of the entire package. However, this does not necessarily mean that you need to have it to establish a relationship. The main cornerstone of this lifestyle is consent. You will get to know why as we explore the three facets of this life.
Bondage and Discipline
Let us start with the confusion. As we have said before, bondage is just a part of the entire thing. This refers to the art or craft of tying up and restraining someone for sexual pleasure. Someone likes tying people up, and another person likes to be tied up. There are many ways that you can employ this kind of act. From something as simple as handcuffs and neckties to outright Shibari, bondage can be something both parties will enjoy. Learn more about it here: https://metro.co.uk/2018/02/21/what-is-shibari-the-art-of-japanese-rope-bondage-and-how-can-you-practice-it-7293510/.
Discipline, on the other hand, is more of psychological restraint. Part of bondage is to make sure that your partner knows why they are currently experiencing. Discipline is sometimes coupled with the next two areas since it is all about the delivery of punishment. It can also be considered as behavior modification since the dominant is trying to teach something to the submissive.
Domination and Submission
This is the facet that is most associated with the BDSM term. Domination refers to one part of this partnership that focuses on control. He or she is the one leading the relationship. It is also his or her responsibility to take care of their submissives or subs before, during and after the acts. Even though they might be the ones dishing out all of these activities, he or she still needs to respect the submissive. There are other responsibilities that the dom can take on like managing the sub’s life but this is just optional. The sex part is what makes this relationship work in the first place
One of the points that people often get wrong about submission is that you are not in control anymore. However, this is not the case in the real world. In BDSM, the submissive can decide whether the act can go on or everything stops immediately. Therefore, he or she is the one in control. They might be the one who is experiencing the pain, bondage or humiliation, but it is up to them if they still want to continue,
Sadism and Masochism
We have come to the other facet that is always linked to BDSM: pain. It can be considered as an extension of the other two since they have the same pattern. In this case, you either like to inflict pain or feel it. Same rules with domination and submission as well. Even though the sadist can bring out the pain, the masochist will be one who can say how much or for how long it is going to take. Unless it is about discipline, then the masochist can still decide when to end it all.
As you may have noticed, you can combine and experience anything you want. You can also just choose a single aspect that you want in your relationship. For example, you are not into pain but you still want to feel dominated. There are even some doms who are masochists, and they find sadists subs. It will always depend on what you want and how much you can handle. According to this website, there is nothing wrong with exploring and experimenting with new things as well.
BDSM and Bondage
If you are still not sure, you can always scout out a local BDSM club or bar to see what exactly is going on. You can always look for resources on the internet. However, we would like to caution you against following pornographic acts. You are not yet familiar with this, and it can be quite dangerous for the uninitiated. At least in the clubs, you can see exactly what’s going to happen. The most important thing that you can take away from this is consent. Even though you see some rougher sex acts like whipping, choking and other things, both parties consented to that. If you want to enter a formal relationship, it can start as an application. It would be even better to establish limits way before your first session.
You might think that this does not sound romantic at all because it is supposed to be that way. BDSM, at its core, is just about the physical aspects of sex. The emotional parts can just be a bonus.
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